EXCERPT

Dreams are a side effect of the subconscious, I tell my therapist, though she knows this.

You’re so, so young, and so, so serious, she says, trying to comfort me, though this, too, is something I am terribly aware of.

*

In college I become obsessed with the word perceive.

Perceive, perception, perceptible.

To obtain, seize, take possession of. To take entirely. To grasp. Somehow even more violent than the origins of penetrate, though it’s only looking.

Everywhere I look is a dagger, or a dagger returned.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

grace (ge) gilbert is an essayist, poet, and artist currently based in Pittsburgh, PA, where they received their MFA in Poetry from the University of Pittsburgh. they are the author of two chapbooks—NOTIFICATIONS IN THE DARK (Antenna Books 2022) and the closeted diaries (Porkbelly Press 2022). grace is the inaugural 2022 MCLA Under 27 Writer-in-Residence Fellow at Mass MoCA. They are currently working on a hybrid poetry/nonfiction book, holly, about their grandmother who was murdered in 1976, from which an excerpt won the 2021 New Delta Review Experimental Non-fiction Award. in the future, grace’s dream is to become a full-time writer, educator, pole dancer, and morning person. Find their work in the Adroit Journal, IndianaReview, the Offing, Ninth Letter, the minnesota review, TYPO, ANMLY, the Raleigh Review, and elsewhere. Read more on Grace’s website https://gracegegilbert.com.

ABOUT THE COVER ARTIST

Emma Samuelson seeks to honor her imagination, experiences, and connections through her original music, writing, art, and film. She’s grateful that creativity has been valued and encouraged throughout her life and for the opportunity to illustrate for Grace. You can find more of her work at @lildilemma on Instagram.

NOTES

Work in this chapbook first appeared in ANMLY and Pidgeonholes.